Letter to Memphis

The other day I realized I hadn't written my friend Meagan in Atlanta in a really long time. And then I remembered I hadn't updated Brightness Falls in a really long time. I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone; consequently, I did this joke in my head where I was all, "You got your letter to Meagan in my Brightness Falls!" "You got your Brightness Falls in my letter to Meagan!" It was seriously funny when it was in my head.

At any rate ... Meagan, this is for you. And everyone else.

Dear GP,

You've known me for several years now, so at the very least you should know this is my favorite time of year, though Thanksgiving and Christmas are bookended by holidays I seriously couldn't give a fuck about -- i.e., Halloween and New Year's Eve. (I'm not even going to mention that motherfucking God-awful event that occurs every year six days after New Year's Day. The problem is that New Year's has always been an occasion to reflect on the past year and take stock of what you've accomplished, and for the past few years all I've done is determined that my accomplishments have been sorely lacking. And then I get to do it again the following week.) This year's venue for Thanksgiving was the same as it's been the previous two or three years -- at my sister Hannah's house in Pleasanton. My parents drove across the Bay Bridge from San Francisco, I drove up 680 from the South Bay, and my sister Kelly and her son flew up from Manhattan Beach in Southern California. Hannah's husband's family from Sacramento -- his brother, his brother's wife and their son -- were there too. They're filthy rich, but I'm not going to lie: they're total yellow trash. (A friend of mine, Justin, is always saying this about me -- "This guy, man, he tells it like it is" -- so now I feel like I totally have to live up to that dictum. And, yes, I used the word "dictum" just now only because it makes me giggle. Every once in a while, though, I'll wonder if I go too far, like the time I told this guy I know who's Vietnamese that I can totally speak Vietnamese, and then I proceeded to cluck like a chicken. He was genuinely offended, but I didn't apologize, and you know why? My mom. I've literally NEVER seen my mom apologize for anything, and I've sworn to follow in her unapologetic, bad-motherfucker footsteps. My credo for 2004, and possibly the remainder of the decade, if not my entire fucking life: saying sorry's for Milquetoast douche bags.) No one in my family can cook, plus we're all pretty lazy, so Hannah bought a pre-cooked turkey from Whole Foods. I didn't care one way or the other -- aside from stuffing and, like, corn, I'm not much of a fan of Thanksgiving food. I mainly just wanted to hang out with my niece and nephew (especially my niece, since my nephew is growing up to be a bit of a fancy-pants). I'm not sure what it says about me that I start to miss my niece after I haven't seen her for a while, but my guess is it indicates I'm a gigantic puss.

I think my semester is officially over sometime around December 10. In a fit of insanity, last weekend I told a cute Japanese girl with a cute Japanese name that I'd take her out on a date once we're both done with school. This girl is an UNDERGRADUATE. I'm almost sure I won't be able to go through with it. Unless we go shooting, because seeing her shoot a gun is going to give me such a fucking boner.

I've been listening a lot to the Rapture lately, because I love disco, cowbells and falsetto singing. Aside from "House of Jealous Lovers" (that's the one with the cowbell), my favorite song of theirs is "Killing," just because -- and I'm totally stealing this from a review I read in a magazine -- it sounds like something that wouldn't feel out of place in an episode of Miami Vice.

Finally, you've probably noticed I haven't been updating my site much. That is, if you still bother to check at all. (I'm convinced it's gotten to the point where the five or six people who leave comments are actually the only people who visit my site.) I'm determined to be more prolific, so let me know if you have ideas for future posts. (So far all I've got is posting a picture of my closet and my medicine cabinet.)

Hope all is well.

Best,
John

P.S. Remember that time you invented a made-up boyfriend just to try and make me jealous?

Posted by john at November 29, 2003 03:20 AM