Unlucky

I was in SF yesterday morning and before I drove home I decided to stop by Huf. This was my first time at the Hayes Street location, and when I saw that they had the Unluckies in stock I immediately copped a pair. (The rumor is that Nike produced just 1,313 pairs of the Unluckies, which are called the Unluckies because there's a 13 stitched on the forefoot of the shoe.)

Amazingly, I had found a parking space almost directly in front of the store, so I threw my Unluckies in the backseat of the car and decided to take a walk around the block, and by that I mean smoke a cigarette. A few seconds into my walk, my right foot landed in something squishy. I looked down and saw that I'd stepped directly onto a big pile of dog crap. My foot had planted itself squarely on the pile, as if I had been aiming for the heart of the crap. "Jesus Christ," I thought to myself. "I hope to God this is dog crap."

I immediately stomped my right foot, which did nothing but get the crap to really settle into the treads of my shoe. I tried scraping the sole against the curb. I dipped my shoe into a puddle of water. (I prayed that it was water.) The crap wasn't going anywhere.

Pretty soon it dawned on me that I would have to abandon my shoes. I was wearing a pair of New Balances that I'd bought for about seventy dollars -- beaters that I wore all the time. They were now dead to me. I walked back to my car and waited for the traffic to die down -- both the foot traffic on the sidewalks and the traffic on the street -- because I didn't feel like having to respond to the guy who calls out, "Buddy, your shoes!" I walked briskly back to my car, opened the driver's side door, untied my laces and got into the car sans shoes. I started the ignition and threw it in drive, and when I looked into my rearview I could see my shoes chillin' on the side of the street. I laughed aloud for, like, ten seconds, which, oddly enough, isn't the first time I've done that sitting alone in my car.

Most people I've told this story to think I'm crazy for having just thrown away a perfectly good pair of shoes. I can only imagine that these people are secretly into scat play. Sickos.

Hey, homeless dude in San Francisco stunting a new pair of gray New Balances -- you're welcome.

P.S. Anyone who accuses my Unluckies of being "ugly" or "horrific" or "ghastly" will be immediately banned.

Posted by john at November 22, 2004 07:31 PM